#captureyourgrief day 13: regrets and trigger

Parenting after loss real talk ahead:

There are days when I look at my two boys and all I feel is joy. Days I am fully involved in every minute of hugs and snuggles I can fit into our busy schedule. Days when I look at our two boys and they are all I see. Then, there are days where my grief blind sides me and puts a shadow over the precious lives I get to enjoy on this Earth. Where all I see when I look at the milestones our boys soar through is another moment I won’t ever get with their brother in Heaven. Where memories made are overshadowed by memories Everett should’ve been in. Where all I see when I look at my rough and tumble bash brothers is a third brother missing from the Daddy dog pile. The days I let my grief overshadow the two miracles I get to live with every day are my biggest regrets. I know Everett wouldn’t want me to live like that. The last thing he would want is for his life to take away the life his brothers should’ve had. Even though Jack and Lucas can be my biggest triggers on days filled with storm clouds, they can also be my biggest source of sunshine so I make it my goal daily to soak up each and every ray because you never know how long that sunshine gets to stay. IMG_5032

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