#captureyourgrief day 29: what heals you

Everyone goes through moments in their life where their world is rocked to its core. Moments that rip away your innocence, break your heart into a million pieces, and leave you breathlessly screaming for answers. In these moments we are left with a choice; do I turn to God to help ease my suffering or blame God for it.

Losing Everett was my moment & will always be my moment.

In the beginning there are days that you can barely breathe. Days that the fog never lifts. Days where your anger makes you question every aspect of everything you thought you knew. Days that turn into nights that turn into weeks of suffering through the reality that is now your life.

In my moments of desperation the darkest thoughts slip through to the surface of my mind. The stark reality of losing a child is beyond words or explanation and rips apart your very soul. A soul that can only be healed by one thing and one thing alone, its Creator.

It is in Him that I will heal. Through Him that I will find the peace my heart needs and the courage to bring another miracle into this world. It is because of Him and His sacrifice that I will see my sweet angel Everett again. It is because of Him and through Him that I will hold my baby in my arms again and my family will once again be whole.

We may not fully understand what took Everett from our world, but I do know this; God did not take our child from us. He may have allowed his spirit to leave this world, but I can guarantee He welcomed Everett into Heaven with open arms and will watch over him until we meet again.

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