Finding his place in this world

Snuggled up tight to our Everett Bear, a routine that has become a big part of my Sunday morning ritual, taking time to just be in my grief. Letting myself be sad or happy or lonely: whatever the emotion of the morning without him brings. A time together I cherish; a time to just be in his presence, in his memory; time alone with my youngest son, my baby boy.

This time together is often filled with tears and prayers that I know can never be answered. But this morning brought a new light, a new hope, an almost unwelcomed acceptance, an unwavering knowledge, that this is the path our family was meant to walk; a path that guided us to a place without a piece of our family here on Earth with us.

A strange kind of peace fills my mind, my heart, my soul with this realization. Our life, our family, will never feel whole without you by our sides, but our missing piece is finding a way to reach his place in our family from Heaven to Earth; finding a way to be by our sides and walk through this life with his family even if he can’t physically be here growing beside his siblings.

I see you baby boy, I feel you in our home, by our sides, and I know that you will always be here with us; guiding us through our lives without you until we meet again in Heaven someday.

I love you baby boy. Always & forever. From this life into the next.

Everett’s Mommy

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