The worst day of my life.

Lucas1yr-52.jpgA year ago today we found out we had lost you. It was, and still is the worst day of my life. A day I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. A day I wish no other parent would ever have to experience. A day that existed because of the evil in this world; an evil that even in it’s most powerful moments will never outshine the light your short life brought into our lives.
 
Three days later, on your birthday, after endless tears and sorrowful goodbyes we kissed your sweet lips for the first & last time. In this moment, we found out the true depth of a parents love; a love that reaches far beyond our comprehension and binds your soul to ours, a love that will forever remain with us; making us ache for you by our side until we are reunited again, a love that is more powerful than anything ever created on this Earth.
 
This weekend we will spend in honor of you baby boy. No longer mourning, but rather celebrating the light and love you brought, and continue to bring into our lives. With your brothers by our sides & your baby sister in my womb we will celebrate everything that you are and everything that you forever continue to be ❤
 
Mommy loves you baby boy.
 
Always & forever.
 
From now until eternity.
Everett’s Mommy

I will always reach for you.

Some mornings I wake up and I reach for you; even after almost a year without you, even after another life is growing inside my womb, even though your sweet cries never got a chance to wake me from my sleep. My maternal instinct kicks in and reminds me that you are missing from our lives and I wake, reaching for you.

If only my arms could reach far enough, pull you down from the heavens, whole and healthy and bring you back into our lives. We would live our lives here on Earth as we’d dreamed; with three ornery boys and one little princess by our side, whole, happy, no longer reaching for a piece of our family just out of our grasp.

Until our hands meet and you are back in my arms again I will always reach for you baby boy. 
Everett’s Mommy